Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Three of The Dragoning
Episode Ten: Leaders Don’t Carry Keys
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Three of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Ten – Leaders Don’t Carry Keys
FM
(The music sputters out.)
*
(sound of dragon roar. Sound of door opening on some pumped up music and cheering men)
FM
Brent! So glad you could make it. Sorry about the ambush in the men’s room. We didn’t specify how to get our invitation to you and our little buddy, Axe, made an odd choice. But it got you here and we’re glad of that, aren’t we, guys?
(much assent from the crowd) )
What can we get you to drink? I got a pretty special bottle of scotch I’d love to share with a real gentleman such as yourself.
No? Cigar?
You sure? These ones are from Cuba. Supposed to be the best. Handrolled on the thighs of the beauties of the island.
I kid. Of course they don’t roll them on their thighs – it would ruin the paper.
Nothing I can get you? Jasper there is itchy to get to bring you whatever you’d like.
Sorry, Jasper. This man wants nothing.
Stalling? Me? I don’t know what you could mean.
Okay. Sure. I will.
(FM taps the mic and the music intro plays)
Brent.
We all admire your media skills. you never let them emasculate you. You retain that alpha energy even when being questioned by some femme bot femi-nazi. We have a lot to learn from you, don’t we boys?
(General assent)
No, no, it’s not flattery, Brent. We really do have a lot to learn from you. And from the woman you say is a dragon.
I mean, how are we to know if she’s really a dragon? We’ve never met her. And we’d like to, Brent. To meet her, have a little chat, try to really understand where she’s coming from.
I don’t want to say we don’t believe in dragons, Brent. I’m just saying we’re not so sure - so we’d have to see for ourselves. Do you think it might be possible to get us a meeting?
Oh you’d have to ask her? Man, are you dragon-whipped. Isn’t he boys? So dragonwhipped.
No, no. don’t go. No – what? You can’t take a joke? We’re just teasing you, Brent.
Have a sense of humor, my man.
Who among us can say he has not been a little bit dragon-whipped? Even if it’s just staying indoors at night out of fear. There is no curfew, gentlemen! You don’t need to impose it on yourselves.
We can’t let ourselves be laid so low. We can not be ruled by dragons. Are we not men? Kings of the earth? Do we not pulse with the power to rule? Are we not vibrating in rhythm with the most powerful forces there are? Are we not thunder? Are we not lightning? Are we not volcanos, boiling beneath the surface?
(Much assent)
We are. Of course we are. No dragon can rule us. Are the dragons not women? Are not women weak?
Did we not rule over them for thousands of years? Is this not the natural order? Has not the natural order been upended? Some of you have trembled in the presence of women. Once, you could have ordered them to make you a sandwich and they would have done it. We have to return to the ways of the ancestors. Those men had it organized. They had it down. We have to wake up, men. We have to get out of bed, wash our faces, drink our coffee black, like real men. No more iced caramel mochaccinos or whatever. We have to get tougher and stronger, take some responsibility for how our weakness led us to this extreme culture. We have to get our power back, gentlemen. We surrendered it and it formed into a dragon. Those dragons are OUR power, our force, our strength and the women are out claiming it as theirs. I don’t believe it. They are just masquerading – wearing our power in a dragon suit. Anyone who gives up their power to a dragon deserves what they get. If you let yourself be dragon whipped, you are in trouble. But I think you can be saved. We’d like to save you, Brent.
You want to know what that would entail? Oh, listen to him, Kings. What would it entail? What, would you want your hand held while we break it down for you?
Oh, you’re just curious? Curious? What, are you gay, Brent?
Why yes I do think curiosity is a little bit gay, Brent. At the very least it’s a little bit too – you know.
You know. Come on. You know. I can’t get over how dragon whipped you are.
We want to help you, Brent. We want to help you take control of your life. Right now, that dragon has the reins and you just go where she tells you. We want to help you move to the other side of the court, Brent. We can give you what you need.
How? How do you think?
Well, first we’re going to teach you about your inheritance.
The one your grandfather’s had.
Well, maybe not your exact grandfather’s. But the ones who were cool, Brent. The ones who wore hats and drank whisky. The ones who drove big cars and smoked cigars or a pipe.
Our grandfathers had power, Brent. And they used it. They didn’t let women tell them what to do. They came home from work and expected to find dinner on the table and if they didn’t, there were consequences, Brent. Consequences! It’s the natural order. Don’t you believe in nature?
We are hunters. Hunters, Brent. Not the hunted. We are made to eat, not to be eaten. We invented fire, Brent. And these dragons, if they are dragons, breathe out OUR fire. It’s ours. It’s our legacy. Fire and hunting. Those were the days. Don’t you think?
What? What about the current moment could you possibly appreciate?
New?! Come on. I mean – new. Try a new food, Brent. Take a new route to work. But upending the entire world order is not a new thing I’m interested in. How about you, Fellas?
(They think No, too.)
New. Interesting. Curiosity. What kind of a man are you, Brent? Are you a man at all?
Dylan - what is that face you’re making? You’ve got something to say? You trying to say something to Brent here? You think I need some help getting my message across?
I thought not.
Well, Brent – that’s reminded me. We brought you here not just to save you but in the hopes that you’d bring us your supposed dragon.
A lot of the guys in here thought you’d say that. You did, didn’t you, gents?
(Some assent)
Well, you were right, guys. He doesn’t want to cross his dragon woman. I mean, as you’d expect any dragon whipped man to be, wouldn’t we?
We’re way ahead of you. While everyone was worrying about you here with us, we got your “dragon.” She’s no dragon so far – and we figure when we bring her in here, she won’t be able to perform her tricks because you’re here, keeping us safe.
She came with us willingly. I guess she was interested in meeting some real men, Brent.
It doesn’t matter what we told her. She’s here now. And we are so looking forward to revealing you for the weakling that you are. If you’d agreed to bringing her to us we would have had a different conversation, wouldn’t we fellas?
But that’s not what happened. What happened is that we got the most visible dragon-whipped guy in the world in our midst and he wouldn’t give it up for nothing.
Alright, Carole Anne, bring in the “dragon”.
(Sound of garbled woman’s voice on a walkie talkie)
I see that look. Yes, we used a woman to get your “dragon” here. It’s normal. You gotta use what you got. And what we got are a couple of very loyal woman who will do what we ask.
I wouldn’t know. Women are catty, right? What do we know what they’ll do to each other?
But also we told Carole Anne she’s bringing her to an award ceremony so she doesn’t really know. We had to do what we had to do.
You look confused. Trying to figure out what to do from here? Obviously running away is not an option. What is a dragon whipped man to do? Such a conundrum.
No, no. She’s going to step right into a cage so even if she does turn dragon, a fact I doubt, she will be behind bars. So don’t worry about your safety, Brent. You’re in a safe place now. You can say what you want and she won’t be able to touch you. We’re doing this to save you, Brent. You are our priority. We don’t want to lose one man to this gynotocracy.
(sound of walkie talkie)
And I have confirmation that the bird is in place. Rhino– pull the curtain.
There she is. The woman who claims to be a dragon.
(Sound of Ashley turning into a dragon. Sounds of gasps around the room. Maybe some screams)
How is she doing that, Brent? Did you guys set this up? Put some mirrors or holograms in place or something.
Sure, sure, she’s a dragon.
(Ashley breathes out fire - there are screams as the men scatter.)
Stay back, stay back, gents. They’re taking it a little too far. I don’t want any of you getting accidentally torched. So, Ashley -
(She breathes out fire again.)
A little touchy are we? Let’s a have a chat. That’s why we brought you here.
What do you mean she can’t chat like that? Don’t be silly. You can chat, can’t you Ashley?
(She roars and breathes fire.)
Can’t or won’t?
Doesn’t matter.
Look who I have here. It’s your boyfriend, Brent.
What do you mean she won’t know you like this? You’re not making any sense, Brent.
What if I put you in danger – wouldn’t she try to save you?
Do you all not have a good relationship, Brent? Are you so dragon-whipped that this dragon tells you to jump and you ask how high? Brent, you have to free yourself.
Guys, do you see this? Do you see how dragon whipped this man is? When are you going to take some personal responsibility, Brent? You can’t hide behind your girlfriend forever. Don’t become a wife guy before it’s your time.
Oh, I know you’re not married, Brent. That’s why I’m trying to save you while I can – before you’re too far gone.
No, Brent – I haven’t forgotten the TV people are here. Hi guys. Hello viewing audience.
We’re not stupid, Brent – we know they’re going to edit this to make us look like assholes – but the thing is, Brent, some people LIKE assholes and our movement will grow whether we look like assholes or not. Was it nice of us to trick your girlfriend into walking into a cage? No – but there’s no law about imprisoning animals and right now, that’s what your girlfriend appears to be. And she’s under our control. But there’s nothing anyone can arrest us for. We’re all above board. We’ve checked with the lawyers among us and we are A okay.
Everyone came here today of their own free will. Even your girlfriend. Sure, we misled her. But they can’t arrest us for that.
We were perfectly honest with you, Brent. We’re just chatting. We’re just having a conversation. To be honest, I’m tempted to open up that cage, see how you two will pull off the illusion of a dragon in the room. And if we lost a few soldiers in the process – well, that’s how it is in a war sometimes, isn’t it? You lose a few to win one.
Look at that. You’re afraid of your own girl. Do you see this, guys? He does not want me to unlock this cage because he is afraid of his own woman. Shameful.
Oh, sure. You’re afraid for us. Ha ha. Like you care what happens to us.
Martyrs? Us? No way.
Well – I suppose that would really kick off the Wave, wouldn’t it fellas? Should I open it up?
Wow. Okay. Okay.
Truth be told, I may not believe she is a dragon but that is real fire and I’d rather not burn this place down. We put a big deposit down.
I mean it is a real conundrum, isn’t it because I’m sure some part of you would enjoy watching your girlfriend set us on fire. It might feel good after being so powerless like this here.
And frankly, Brent, that’s what I wanted these guys to see – because they’ve been thinking you’re some special dude, some powerful darling of the media, that you have something they don’t have but I felt very strongly that you were even more scared than they are. Maybe a lot more. And to top it off you are dragon whipped, which none of these fellas are, are you fellas?
(chorus of nos)
So – my work here is done. It’s all PR, isn’t it? Just – I couldn’t let you disrupt the balance of power between men and women any longer. I want to see you assert yourself over your woman, Brent. I want to see you take your rightful place as king. Do that and this is all over. Go on. Tell her who’s boss.
What are you talking about?
Oh, Brent, you’re so naïve. Do you have any idea how many police officers are in our organization? There’s nothing to arrest us for and none of them would be willing to do it.
I’m sorry. The what?
Dragon Defense League? Are you crazy? There’s no such thing.
There are no dragons and there’s certainly no dragon defense league.
They do what now?
Protect dragons?
Wow. That’s crazy.
With all that fire and those sharp looking claws and teeth, you think a creature like that needs protecting?
Sure – okay. Yeah we put her in a cage. But there’s no law against putting animals in cages. I may not believe that’s an actual dragon but the law is on our side in terms of what we’re doing here.
What do you mean? They’re like a vigilante group? Operating a militia outside the bounds of the US system is against the law, Brent. Believe me, I know. We had reason to look it up.
Well, I happen to feel that the law has protected me all these years, I see no reason to doubt the effectiveness and sense of our police force.
What’s happening? Why are you guys approaching the prisoner? Stingray! Badger! Is that how we do things around here now? People just do what they want? Just willy nilly?
Hey, hey, step away from that cage, What are you guys doing? What are you whispering? I don’t like people whispering around me. Are you talking to the dragon? What are you saying?
You’re telling her what? To return to lady form so she doesn’t kill us all?
No. I will not open the cage. No, not even when she’s a lady again. I don’t have the keys.
I’m a leader. Leaders don’t carry keys.
Hey, hey, relax man. Who do you think you are?
Brent, you want to help a brother out?
Oh, you’re a friend of the Dragon Defense League? That’s who these traitors are? Hey you guys have been here for the last few months, you couldn’t have learned something? Come on, let me go, fellas.
Hey – no – don’t worry – guys this is all part of the plan. Part of the plan. We gotta have a martyr.
Oh look she’s a lady again. Crisis averted. Time to let me go. Fine, fine. Rhino – let her out. We’ll all be released together. Allelujah.
Hey – where you going, Brent? You’re putting on a real sappy show there with that chick. You expect us to believe you were really worried about each other?
Okay, she’s free now – time to let me loose. It’s an equal exchange, right?
Oh you’re just gonna walk outta here hand in hand like lovers at the seashore while your goons handle me for the cameras. You see, fellas? Dragon-whipped.
What’s she saying? I don’t like people whispering near me.
Oh she’s doing her best not to dragon? Why the hell not? We don’t mind, do we fellas?
I don’t care how things look for the cameras. She’s not going to eat me.
No. I’m sure I taste great but that’s not the point.
No. Yeah. As a matter of fact, I do have some stuff to say. I don’t know what gives these people the right to lay hands on me but I know our movement is only getting bigger, whatever happens to me. I’m just one guy, trying to help my fellow man. But the Wave is coming fellas. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but it is coming. You will be redeemed.
Alright, stop yanking on my arms, guys. I’ll go with you. You don’t have to be mean about it.
Good luck, Brent. We’re here for you whenever you need us.
Alright, alright. I’m going. Get ready for the Wave. It’s gonna be a big one.
Hey – where do you fellas think you’re going? What is this? A mass revolt? You’re gonna follow this dragon-whipped pansy and a woman?! You all have lost your minds. Rhino? Colt? Dylan? What is this? Axe, man – what are you doing? The Wave is still on its way, believe me.
You want to be led by a woman?
You want to lose all your power?
Guys. Guys.
(The door closes behind all the men who’ve left him behind.)
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is created by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
Show art by Shannon Harvey
Produced by Kayshana Johnson
This final episode featured Thadd McQuade as FM
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you making this project possible and thank you in advance for helping us make the next one.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)