Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Three of The Dragoning
Episode One: Return to Dragon City
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Three of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode One. Return to Dragon City
Amanda, Willie and Jenny
(The music sputters out. Alternating notes of a horror soundtrack begin.)
AMANDA
She’s at a picnic table. She’s nice, she’s friendly. She’s writing in her notebook. A man in a baseball cap comes and just sits at the table, his back to her, scrolling on his phone, drinking his coffee. There is the sound of claws emerging behind him. He turns around and sitting there is a dragon, smiling and rolling her talons on the table. She smiles as sweet as a dragon can smile and watches as the man runs away. She transforms back into a woman and resumes her work.
*
A city street. A young man with a sour face and a backpack is pulling his rolly bag toward the coffee shop. A woman arrives at the coffee shop door first so she opens the door and holds it open for him. He does not thank her, does not smile, just walks in. The woman turns her head and licks her lips like she’s thinking of a meal she’s looking forward to eating.
Inside the café, the woman orders a coffee and the man comes up behind her. He is too close.
There is no reason for him to be this close to her. She goes to wait for her coffee outside. The man collects his coffee and leaves.
Through the window, we see a suitcase and a backpack fly past, as if they’ve been spit out by a dragon. The woman comes back in, delicately wiping her mouth. She says quietly, “You really ought to smile more.” And then collects her coffee at the counter.
*
It is late at night. A woman is walking home alone. As she passes under the streetlight, we see that she is being followed by a man. He is lit up by the streetlight just as he accidently kicks a can. There is the sound of a warning dragon growl and the man looks up and freezes then backs slowly out of the streetlamp’s light. We hear him run away in the other direction. The woman appears in the next streetlamp’s light, whistling and walking merrily on her way.
*
That’s the opening, Brent!
What do you think?
No, no, it’s a TV show – like a scripted fictional sort of thing.
Well - they want you to consult on it. They give you a producer credit, which, I’m given to understand, comes with a very generous salary. That’s on top of the consulting fees.
Well – I think they feel it’s safer to have you on the team than an actual dragon.
Right, because there are some men on the creative team and they’re concerned about fire and consumption and so on. I think they mostly want to ask you questions – which I know you can handle.
The truth is, Brent, you’re very much in demand for this sort of thing – because no one wants to piss off the dragons by misrepresenting them but they’re all also to scared to talk with them directly. They see you as a direct line to dragons without the fire.
I suppose it might make sense to just have dragons make their own work about dragons, that’s true. But who’s to say this ISN’T that situation? It’s possible half of this creative team are dragons and they’re just not out to their colleagues.
I mean, what does it sound like to you?
Does this sound like a bunch of dudes who don’t know what they’re talking about or does it have some authentic dragon vibes?
Well, you know I don’t know. I’m just here to help you negotiate your public life. I know diddly squat about dragons. That’s your gig! And Ashley’s of course.
I agree – it does feel like sexism all over again that these folks would rather work with a man than a woman who actually knows all about it. I agree completely. It’s very messed up. But from their perspective, they’re just trying not to get eaten or set on fire, so I see it from their side, too.
How about this? We have them hire you and Ashley. You’re the on-site consultant and you and Ashley can discuss the issues at home. I think they might go for it. I’ll take it to them. See what they think. Or rather my new assistant will. Everyone would rather talk to Davey these days.
So believe me – I am sympathetic to the messed up dynamics of the current moment. But! They still pay me more than him regardless so…for now, it’s not so bad.
Tell me.
Interesting – yeah – that’s true those dragons do seem to be a bit more in control than our real life dragons. That’s interesting.
I think they’re from Dragon City? Maybe? I’ll ask them for you.
No – it’s true – it would be really something for the dragons to be able to slip in and out like that. And less dangerous, too.
Oh sure. Yeah. If there’s a group of dragons who have conscious control of when and how they dragon out? That would be really good to know.
But of course, this is a TV series.
Fiction, you know. So it could just be someone making it all up.
Anything else you want me to take back to them?
Cool. Now – don’t forget you and Ashley are zooming in to that Talk Show in Belgium tomorrow so I’ll check in with you right before. Sound good?
Okay, my lucky dragon boy, until tomorrow.
*
(sound of dragon roar. Sound of smooth jazz at a hotel.)
WILLIE
Can’t believe it. All of us back together at the Davina. Around the world and back again huh?
Nah, nah, once The Dragoning kicked off there and they had my models, they didn’t need me anymore. In fact, they wanted me out of there ASAP – said they didn’t want to be responsible for my safety.
It was time. I made my money, helped them out and got on out of there.
I mean, Alice! Who’d have thought? She didn’t seem the type. And I heard she gutted that government building. Fire and destruction.
Did she really eat most of her department?
I guess she was hungry.
I mean, granted. I did meet a lot of those guys she worked with and they wouldn’t have lasted a minute in Dragon City – so it was probably bound to happen sooner or later. It’s just, Alice!
Well - I think you develop an instinct here in Dragon City. You get your blind spots, of course – but, I know to be on my guard with the real sweet ones. If she tells me it was sooooo nice to meet me, I’ll be pulling out my pine aromatherapy stick, you know?
You don’t have one of those? Oh, man. You gotta get yourself a box of them.
Well you know how scented candles of certain scents can give you a little extra protection - or rather - can give a dragon a little extra help in retaining control?
Turns out little bits of essential oils do more or less the same thing. This city smells like a pine forest everywhere you go these days - with little fields of geranium dotted around.
I bet the front desk has some they could sell you. It’s becoming as common as toothpaste around here.
No, no, I don’t work here anymore. I just like to hang out at their bar because my former colleagues always give me the discount – and the vibe is usually pretty chill.
And my former colleagues here treat me like a real celebrity here, too, you know. I don’t mind that.
Well, you know how it is at places like this. Not a lot of people make it out and they just work the door until they retire or whatever. So they love to tell people about the former doorman who got hired to stop a dragoning overseas. Not that I stopped anything. And neither did you, huh? Just kicked off the world’s second dragoning all on your own!
I’m just kidding, man. I know none of that had anything to do with you. And you have had a lot of close calls, man. A lot of close calls. I’ve been in these places just like you and I never had close calls. It’s like your special skill or something.
Oh speaking of close calls, wasn’t Ashley going to join us?
Oh, consulting for Hollywood now! Well, well, well. So close to her dream but not quite, huh? Maybe they’ll ask her to dance one of these days.
Nah, I’m proud of you guys. You’re figuring out how to navigate this upside down world and not everyone knows how to manage that. And you’re making a dragon/man relationship work. Without aromatherapy sticks even! You’re an inspiration.
Is she? Oh, sweet girl. No, I’m looking forward to seeing her. I’m not scared. Well, just scared enough, I’d say. I figure, I spent all that time with her before, I know about that whole being a dragon thing and never had a thing to worry about… so I figure I’m not especially triggering for her. Or any dragons, maybe. I hope, anyway. You know.
And I guess I sort of feel like if it’s my time to get eaten or torched - okay. I do my best to avoid it – try not to be a douchebag, try to be considerate of other people and not get patronizing or something – but maybe one day I make a mistake and maybe that’s it for me. To be honest, it isn’t all that different from trying to avoid getting bashed in school
Nah, nah. I had no idea that’s what I was doing back then. I just can name it now as I try to pass on the skill to some of my fellow men. A lot of them need some help staying alive in this new world, you know? I don’t want to say some guys are asking for it – but you know, it’s like, evolve fast or be burned alive, you know? Folks got to figure that out or it’s lunchtime for dragons, you know?
I know you do.
Oh, yeah - well, I’m finishing up the last of my coursework so I can go ahead and get the degree. Not that having it is entirely necessary at the moment – but I figure, eventually I’ll stop being the star technologist who got there first and I’ll want to be able to point to credentials beyond the first flush of The Dragoning.
Not that I think this is over, in any way. I’m fielding calls from all sorts of places who are sure they’re going to be next – but eventually – well, none of us know what’s going to happen from here and my grandmother was pretty clear that the only thing any of us could rely on was education.
I mean, I’m not that far away. My teachers are counting a lot of my outside projects as course work – you know practical internship/residency sort of stuff – so I really just have to write up my findings in a kind of thesis form and I’m done.
Yeah – and I can invite my grandma to my graduation, you know. That’ll mean a whole lot more to her than any of my stories about working across the ocean. She wants to see me in a cap and gown and I mean to give that to her.
What does she think of The Dragoning?
Well, she worries about me, of course – because she doesn’t want her baby eaten up or anything – but she’s also sort of funny about it.
Well, she’ll say she understands why all those girls got so mad. She says that she went through a few years where she felt mad enough to turn hell cat. She says she used to walk around picturing folks with her claw marks bleeding out from their faces just to get through the day so – she says she’s just lucky she didn’t actually turn hell cat or she’d have some murder notches on her belt she didn’t particularly want.
Yeah – she feels lucky, she said. And that she wouldn’t want to deal with the clean up of that sort of thing – so she said those dragon girls should be glad their destruction is so complete, so fastidious – and leaves so little behind.
Yeah she has quite a mind, my grandma. How about you? You have living grandparents?
How are they handling your new life?
Yeah I imagine it would be a lot to take in. Probably makes it hard to introduce them to your new girlfriend, huh?
Your parents, too, huh? Oh man, I’m sorry. Well – they’ll probably come around eventually. Probably they’re just trying to protect you. It’s probably not easy to accept your son being with someone who could snap and murder him at any point.
Right! Man, I never thought of that! Women have been partnering with men who could kill them for years! What was that statistic? Man, I can’t believe I forgot this – we needed to pull it out at the missing person’s unit all the time. But basically, when a woman went missing back then, we always looked at the husband or boyfriend first and nine times out of ten, we were right. That’s a real turn around.
And from what I understand, dragons don’t tend to attack men they love. It happened in the beginning – but now, not so much. I guess they work their stuff out enough to not dragon up when things are rough. They just get regular mad, like you do at regular people. But I don’t need to tell you, do I?
Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sure if anything gets me dragoned, it’s going to be the mansplaining. I try not to do it to women – but sometimes with men….well, maybe I just get pent up with explanations or something and then just…Anyways if I get torched, you can probably assume I tried to explain dragons to a dragon.
Oh definitely if you notice me doing it, just kick me under the table or something, give me a sign. I’ve got too much to do to end up a pile of ash before my time.
Oh is that Ashley waving us out front? Dragon life suits her.
Yeah. I’m hungry too. Dragon Ramen, here we come!
*
Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of a van parking
JENNY
Well look who it is – my friend who got famous after riding in my shuttle! You’ve had quite a ride, haven’t you?
Where’s your dragon girlfriend?
Old friends, eh? Weren’t you invited?
Oh jet lag – yeah. Well, we’ll get you back to the Hotel Davina in a jiffy, have no fear about that I got a real express service for the boyfriends of dragons so welcome aboard.
Sound of van driving
You’re sweet to ask. Well – we get about the same call for shuttling as we did before. A few more drunks who’ve discovered the service – but I don’t worry too much about them when they’re from here. They wouldn’t dare throw up in a van driven by a woman.
I mean, they don’t know I’m not a dragon – but everyone figures driving is prohibitive to dragoning up.
And I don’t disabuse them of the notion that I might be a dragon if it’s going to keep them from throwing up in my van.
I will cop to having encouraged the idea a few times when they seemed like they might not keep their long island iced teas down.
And I’ll just pull over if the fear isn’t going to keep their bar snacks down. I’ll wait, too. I don’t want to be the shuttle driver who let her passenger get eaten by the side of the road. That would not help my business, no sir.
So how’s it feel to kick off the second dragoning? You feel powerful?
I would. Wow. Only two places in the world with dragons and you’ve been there for both!
That we know of. That we know of. That is a good point. You trying to steal our thunder here in Dragon City?
They’re going to take our nickname away if they keep having dragonings everywhere. Our dragon cottage industries will dry up like that!
True. True. Or be the models for everyone who comes after us. Good point. I like that. I could get an international shuttle service going or something. That’s be pretty wild.
No, no, I’m just a driver in this game but I can see the angles. Not sure I’d want the responsibilities really. I’m happy driving a van.
I hope you don’t mind but I’ve bragged on you a few times to some of my passengers.
Oh, you know, how I had you in my van a couple of times and how I knew you wouldn’t get yourself torched or eaten in a hurry.
Close, huh? Well, close is pretty okay. I imagine you couldn’t be in a relationship with a dragon without getting a little almost eaten or a little singed.
Singed, eh? Well, you recovered fast. Good for you.
I hope to get to meet your girlfriend one day.
Yeah, well, technically, women aren’t allowed on this shuttle – and especially not dragons – so I’m not sure how I could get her on board. Maybe some time after hours or something. Or she could pick you up and I could just step off and say hello. Maybe get a selfie with you guys.
I’m not usually into that sort of thing but none of my friends believe me when I tell them I met you. It doesn’t matter, you know. It’s just sometimes you want to throw such things back in their faces, you know.
Oh, that’s sweet. Thank you.
Some of my friends have, like, parasocial relationships with you two so it will really mean something. They’re going to die from envy.
Ha! Yeah – maybe we should skip it so I don’t accidentally kill my friends.
Well – we’re almost at the Davina. It’s like your dragon home away from home, eh? But wait, isn’t your girlfriend a local? Doesn’t she have an apartment?
Ohhh. Who would dox a dragon?
I guess I’d have my theories too, in your position. Well, listen, I won’t tell a soul where you two are staying. This service is confidential and my lips are sealed.
Here we are. The Hotel Davina. Stay safe as you can. My friends and I are rooting for you!
Really? You’d do that for me?
But wait. You guys don’t want to be doxed all over again.
Oh – you know – I’ve seen videos where people can identify your location based on a photo with almost no identifying information. Like, just like a little symbol or a style of paint or something. There are all these contests where people challenge them with super boring pics that they can identify in seconds. It’s crazy.
Okay. Good idea. Inside the van. With no windows or mirrors. Sorry. I didn’t mean to be paranoid for you. Just, like, I worry for you. And it feels there’s a lot to worry over.
Yeah. I guess you guys know that more than most people.
Alright. Yeah. This looks safe.
Cheese!
Ah that’s great. Thank you. My friends are going to flip.
Stay safe out there, Brent. And if you need anything, especially a ride, you let me know.
Good night.
*
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is produced by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
This episode featured Rhiannon Moushall as Amanda, Julian Rozzell Jr as Willie and Sevrin Anne Mason as Jenny
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you in advance for making our next project possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)