Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Three of The Dragoning
Episode Four: The Scourge
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Three of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Four. The Scourge
Sgt Ana Rengel, Amanda and Justin
(The music sputters out.)
*
(sound of dragon roar. Sound of a conference room door closing.)
Sergeant Ana Rengel
Well, well. Didn’t think we’d see you around these parts again. You have got some ovaries, Brent! Some real powerful ovaries.
Well, you know, Brent. From my early days on the force, the guys were always telling me what big balls I had and for a long time I took that as a compliment but then I didn’t. And I just made it my habit to compliment any act of bravery with strong ovaries. Most of the fellas at the station don’t like it much, I’ll tell you that – but since The Dragoning kicked off they’re a lot less inclined to tell me so.
I know it drives them crazy but I have to confess I enjoy every minute of their discomfort. When I think of all the years I pretended to laugh at all those guys’ sexist jokes? Well – it is going to be a LONG time before we’re even.
Are you two keeping your eyes open? You’re both pretty visible now. I wouldn’t want some anti-dragon nut to come after you.
I might send someone from the Friends of the Dragon to check in on you two. We can’t have the public face of dragons and their loved ones go missing on our watch.
Oh Kala? We sent her back to Montana. I think she’s rehabilitated. I hope it sticks. But if it doesn’t – at least she’ll be in Montana – far away from any known dragons.
No, I’m sure there are dragons in Montana too – but they’re not out yet. And there’s safety in that, as you know.
And the guys who hired her? Well – they did some rehab workshops and about half of them made it out alive. So I assume they won’t be any trouble to us at the moment.
I’ve got to say – you surprised me, Brent. I don’t expect much from men and you really came through. And continue to.
Please don’t disappoint me. That is my one request.
Well - I generally expect for men to disappoint me. So far you haven’t and I don’t want you to start now.
You tell me. What kind of bad behavior are you likely to indulge in? And don’t tell me none. I know you’re not a saint, Brent.
No. You’re right. You shouldn’t tell me. You have no reason to trust me with your flaws any more than I have to trust you with mine. But I am trusting you with protecting the safety of one of my dragons – so let’s call that some personal growth on my side.
As much as I hate to admit it, it does seem to make some sense to have some men in the movement. Or maybe it’s just you. You got any guys joining you in these dragon trenches?
I appreciate that you’re careful about that Brent, I really do.
I suppose I might have cause to ask for your help in the future. Would you be willing to help out some dragons that aren’t your girlfriend?
Sure, sure. Of course you’re busy. Of course. Doing what exactly?
Oh television. Yes. Yes. Very important stuff, of course.
You caught me. I don’t take television very seriously.
Well – I’ve never seen anyone like me on it, for one thing. Doesn’t seem like it has much to do with the real world.
Don’t be ridiculous. No one would put me on TV.
What kind of show?
Who are the buddies? You and me? Come on. I don’t even like you.
I guess, yeah, there is some built in drama there, huh?
No, I’m not considering it. Don’t be ridiculous.
Anyway. I’ll have someone come check in on you two. And if anything comes up, let me know. I don’t like how out front you two are. It attracts the misogynists and the crazies and activates the really screwy combinations of the two.
Just keep your eyes open, okay? Especially the ones in the back of your head.
No, Brent, I do not think you literally have eyes in the back of your head. I just mean you should watch your back. And watch it good. You got me?
Good.
We’re here for you if you need us. Anything looks fishy, you call me.
*
Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of the Hotel Davina bar
AMANDA
Can you believe it? Back together again, gang!
Oh, that flight is a monster, certainly. An absolute beast - but you two are worth it. Plus, I get to see Dragon City!
Oh, believe me. Everyone kept telling me I was crazy to come here but I told them there’s probably no safer space for women in all the world than Dragon City. I mean, I know no one looks at numbers anymore – but the murder rates here for women are in the basement. It could not go much lower. There’s virtually no domestic violence. The likelihood of being sexually assaulted here is astonishingly low. It’s literally the safest I have ever been.
No, back home everyone’s still in denial – so while things are certainly riskier for men there now, they haven’t yet hit the tipping point in being safe for women. I do think it’s good you two are here and not there.
Well, you’re just a flashpoint for a lot of people.
But you still have so many fans! Don’t think that just because we have a wide assortment of dickheads that you don’t still have a massive fan base back home.
And let me tell you, we are all very happy to have gotten out ahead of the merchandising because while there are a lot of copycats out there, we are selling the tote bags, the mugs, the t-shirts like crazy. Oh and the badges.
And speaking of badges, I’ve taken on Alice as a client also. They’ve got her locked up for burning down a government building but I’ve hooked her up with our badge maker and they’re these government ids with her face on them. They are very popular. Not as popular as you two of course – but doing very well.
So let’s talk projects, shall we? Are all your dreams coming true yet?
Oh boy. Insurance. Right. Well – here’s the thing. We are in a brand new world and the insurance companies think we live in 1965. Dragons are very risky to them but here in Dragon City, they’re also very common.
It is a very sticky insurance problem for them.
What I understand is that a lot of the insurance companies are over a hundred years old and they have their way of doing things that they are not keen on switching around. Also – it’s a highly regulated business so they can’t move as quickly as would be useful in this situation. Are dragons a risk? Yes. Are they also potential clients? Yes. To them it’s like selling a policy to a bunch of water for flood insurance. Which I suppose they might be happy to do under the right circumstances. As long as it makes them money. But it is funny to me that all those media companies are talking to you about insurance. I guess they want to pass the risk down to their talent? It is very weird. And I’m sorry.
Well, an all woman crew is a very good idea and they ought to be ashamed they haven’t thought of it themselves. I’ll bring it up when I meet with them. That’s what you have me for to help stop them talking to you about boring things like insurance.
Here to save the day of course! And get a little business trip to Dragon City.
I did come here once when I was a kid – before it was Dragon City, of course.
Yeah it was a family holiday.
It’s changed a lot! I mean, not that I’ve seen much yet. It’s airport, car, hotel and this bar – so…you know – I’m not basing that sense on much experience. Just the feeling.
Well – I guess it’s a city that has been turned upside down and there’s a layer that feels like a war-torn country, like, a lot of people have died! But it’s also – sort of triumphant? And there are a lot more men walking around than I expected.
I guess it’s that the city I saw when I was a kid was a little bit cocky and this one has a layer of caution over it. Everyone’s extra polite now – and back then – I remember getting bumped into by a man rushing down the street and he didn’t even pause or acknowledge me. This time, a man ALMOST ran into me at the airport and he apologized his face off.
These are very strange times.
And how does the city seem to you two after your time away? Does it seem different?
Oh true – when you change, the world does seem to change around you, doesn’t it? Also, the last time you two were here, no one knew who you were and now you are famous.
I genuinely think you are – both here and back home and beyond. Are you not feeling it?
Like, are people not recognizing you?
Yeah, yeah, I figured. Well anytime you need to funnel those people away from you, just send them to me. You can give them my number and I will deal with them for you. That’s what you give me a percentage for – not just to say yes for you but mostly to say no. And you just let me know if you’re sending me someone you actually want to do something with, okay? Otherwise, I’ll assume it’s all slush and just knock it down for you. I will be the bad guy that will not let you do that game show or whatever. The main advantage I have is that I am not walking around with either of your faces so I can say no on your behalf a lot easier than you can.
Yeah – the thing is, now you’re famous, it will be harder to say no directly. We need to be careful of your public image – because what we do not need a bunch of people going around saying they met you and you were mean to them or something. Listen, I know you – and I know the chance of you being mean are very slim. But some people experience any kind of No as mean-ness. Which is why you’re going to give them my card instead. I’m very happy to be that bitch of a manager you have. Or - even better, my assistant, who is actually a real sweetheart. But if they go away thinking our office is full of assholes, no problem. Okay?
I am here to look out for you, not just to take in the sights of Dragon City. Though of course I want to take in the sights of Dragon City if I get a minute.
Right, speaking of the sights of Dragon City, what do you say we move this meeting to a place that will feed us? Sound good to you two?
I heard there’s a new high end dragon themed restaurant nearby. Lots of flame grilling and such.
That’s not in bad taste, is it?
Is it?
Well, if you want to go, it’s on me. My office gives me a per diem for just these sorts of things.
We can go and make fun of it or go somewhere else entirely. Sky’s the limit, guys! We’re young and free and famous in Dragon City!
Oh, this? Already charged to my room, Babes. Let’s go set this town on fire!
Not literally, Dragon Girl. But maybe literally! Let’s go!
*
Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of a Men’s Room
JUSTIN
Hey, hey.
I know you.
Yeah, yeah – I know you.
No, wait. Wait.
I got it. You’re that dragon’s boyfriend.
You ARE guilty as charged. Very guilty as far as I’m concerned, fraternizing with the enemy. You back here to set our city on fire, Dragon Boy? You better watch your back because we aren’t going to let you.
No, no, wait man. You can’t talk to men now? You some kind of dragon deputy? I’ve got questions for you!
I’ve got a dinner to get back to, too, guy – but I just need to know what you think you’re doing dating a dragon.
It’s a set-up, right? You’re undercover, infiltrating the girls? Is that what you’re doing?
I’m just trying to understand, you know? When I get back to my buddies, they’re going to want to know what we’re doing to stop the scourge and I just have to ask you.
Yeah – the scourge. What do you call it? The Dragoning.
Of course you do. You would. Sure most people do. Not us, though. Not the ones without scales in our eyes. And yes I am talking about dragon scales and no we don’t think that’s funny. And we don’t call this place Dragon City either.
No, we’re not going back to the old name. No. We call it the City of the Scourge.
I don’t deny that it is a mouthful but it is accurate. This city has been decimated by the dragons and we decided to name our city after them? No. They are a scourge and this city is where that scourge does the scourging.
We came to do some re-con. We figure we can stop these kinds of places before they really get going. Making dragons a theme? They’re dangerous man-eating beasts! I’ve lost a lot of friends to them!
And if I had any questions about what kind of places these kind of places are, they are answered because here you are. And I bet you’re here with your dragon.
But I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. You seem like a good guy. I think you might want to join us.
Well, to change this land of the scourge of course!
What haven’t those dragons done to me?! They’ve eaten my friends. They keep me from going out at night. They’ve upended this whole world. It’s like – a whole upside-down misery. They’ve unmanned me. Do you know I just walk around afraid all the time? It’s so humiliating!
How do you mean?
Oh sure – the fear keeps me alive. But what kind of life is this that I have to get a woman to escort me places after dark? It’s mortifying. Aren’t you mortified?
No? Really? How can you not be?
Curious? You just get curious? Man. You are one weird dude.
Well, I don’t know if I do want to say more about cleansing the land of the scourge. I don’t think I’m explaining it right as you don’t seem to understand.
The guys down at the club, though. Man, you should hear them. They make everything so clear. I walk in all muddled up, so confused – like a cup full of dirty pond water, all mixed up and thinking maybe dragons aren’t so bad – but then I go down to the club and the guys there straighten me right out. I leave there with a brain like a crystal clear cup of water, purified and filtered.
You should come down. They’d straighten you right out.
Oh, we don’t use our real names in there. For example, I’m Justin but at the Club they call me Axe. “Hey, Axe!” they call out to me when I get there and I say “What’s up what’s up?”’
Oh yeah. They call themselves “Fat man” and “Little Boy” and don’t think Little Boy is a boy either. He is a big guy and a little bit scary.
But he’s great. I don’t mean scary in a scary way. Just, like, not what I think of as a little boy.
Oh, that’s true, isn’t it? Guys named Tiny are always massive. Well – Little Boy follows that trend. And I guess they’re going for irony because Fat Man is not fat. He’s a very skinny guy. Like a stick. We usually just call him FM. Because it’s weird to call someone Fat Man to his face.
Anyway – they’re the best at explaining things. So you should come to the club and have them explain it all to you.
Well – I’ll give you a card and you can come any Tuesday night. That’s when we get new guys. But listen. And this is very serious. You can not bring your girlfriend. I mean – no one can bring their girlfriend but you especially cannot bring yours. You got it? I mean – yeah, I’ll get some cred for bringing you in but it will all be for nothing if your girlfriend comes and eats everybody. You promise not to bring her?
Okay good.
Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your dinner. I’ll be seeing you.
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is created by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
Show art by Shannon Harvey
Produced by Kayshana Johnson
This episode featured Vickie Tanner as Sergeant Ana Rengel, Rhiannon Moushall as Amanda and Andrew Winson as Justin.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you in advance for making our next project possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)