Messenger Theatre Company presents Season Three of The Dragoning
Episode Three: Dragonccino
(The first few notes of the piano sound nice and theatre-y but then they start to deconstruct, a bit like a music box going awry. Strings come in. Men droning. Are they monks?)
EMILY:
Messenger Theatre Company presents
Season Three of The Dragoning
(lots of voices saying The Dragoning. The beat drops. There are some distorted strings or cries in rhythm.)
EMILY:
Episode Three. Dragonccino
Harrison, Zeke, Misty and Ashley
(The music sputters out.)
*
(sound of dragon roar. Sound of a conference room door closing.)
HARRISON
Brent! Brent. Come on in, buddy.
Welcome to the Talon TV offices! Thank you for coming in. We really appreciate it. What can we get you to drink? Coffee? Cappuccino? Perrier? Champagne? A cocktail? We’ve got a full bar in the lounge upstairs.
Great. (He pushes a button on the intercom.)
Sophie, can you have Jaden bring in a Perrier please? Thank you, sweetheart.
My assistant. She’s the one who clued us in to your story. It’s good to have young people around to keep our fingers on the pulse. And you, Brent, are the pulse!
Thank you, Jaden.
We’re pretty sure Sophie’s not a dragon but we have Jaden do the face to faces just in case.
So, Brent. Amanda tells us you’re willing to help us with this Dragon Stories show we’re developing.
Sure, sure, with Ashley, of course. Remote, of course. Can’t take any risks.
I’m sure Amanda will work out the details with our staffing specialist. But what I wanted to talk with you about is…You. Let’s talk about you. You are the man of the moment. Not just here in Dragon City but all over the world, I’m given to understand. So what I want to know is: What can we do for you?
That other show was in the works before we knew about you – maybe it’ll go, maybe it won’t. But I’m thinking – why can’t we make the show you want to make, Brent? Can we do a reality love story?
No, no, you’re right. They are rating bonanzas but they do tend to break people up. I could understand that that might not interest you. Granted. Granted. I get that. Ever wanted to start a business? People like to watch people chase their dreams.
Really? A travel show. Wow. Yeah I can see that. What’s the dragon angle, though?
Well – people know you as the dragon boyfriend. What happens if you go to Bali and there are no dragons?
I don’t KNOW there are no dragons in Bali, you’re right – but so far there’s only two cities in the whole world that have them so it seems pretty unlikely they’d have ‘em there.
I mean, unless you kick off another dragoning there and then think of ratings!
But I don’t think you can kick off a dragoning everywhere you go. I don’t think we can count on it. I mean, if you did, you would be quite a trigger, wouldn’t you? Can you imagine?
I mean, I like the travel show idea, Brent. I really do. I just think our viewers are going to want you showing up and turning their worlds upside down with dragons.
Face it, Brent, you are highly visible now. You’re a hot topic. You’re trending. We have to capitalize on that. Strike while the iron is hot. Opportunities like this don’t come along every day. Let me tell you. Believe me, I know.
No, no, listen. I’m not saying no to your travel show. You’re a personable guy, I’d watch you meet the locals anywhere – but maybe we keep that idea in our back pockets. Maybe we save it for the next round. Because the iron is hot for dragons right now and we gotta get ourselves a dragon show and you’re the man for it.
Tell you what. We make a deal. We’ll give you a travel show. It’s a part of a package. We’ll do it after whatever dragon content you can generate for us.
You got ideas, I want to hear them and just to maybe save you some trouble, I’ll put some writers on it, too. They can try and cook up some ideas that they can pitch you for our next meeting. We only want to do what YOU want to do.
Well, yes, as long as dragons are involved. The golden equation is YOU plus DRAGONS or Dragon – if you want it to just be your girlfriend. I don’t care what you do with dragons. I just want to see you with at least one? Maybe several. I don’t know. I just know what sells and right now that is dragon. And you! You and Dragons.
No, no, listen. We want to do YOUR show. So you go away – have a little think about it. Our writers will go away and have a little think about it. You’ll meet back here, settle on the best one and then I’ll sign off on it. Easy as getting out of bed. Hey – how about In Bed with Dragons.
No, no, you’re right. Too racy for the 8 o’clock slot. Alright, Brent – I think we’ve filled up your brain enough for the moment. Go out there and find your best dragon show.
*
Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of a café door opening
ZEKE
Welcome to Dragon City Coffee. What can I get started for you?
Yeah – well spotted – we just opened about a week ago. The owners thought the city could use a dragon themed café.
Honestly, I think they had a shop in the works with just a regular coffee sort of pun name –
Oh you know – Espresso Yo Self or Bean Needin’ a Cup or something. But they figured they might get some extra business with dragons on the cups. Get some Instagram posts, some Tweets, you know. Maybe get some influencers or tourists in here taking pics with the dragon wall.
Oh, it’s right over there.
Crazy, right?
Well most people stand in the fire to make it look like they’re getting flamed – but the occasional person will stand in front of the dragon and laugh and point at the fire. I’m a little scared of those people truth be told.
I guess it’s your first time in here, huh?
Oh, well a lot of people like the dragonccino.
It’s just, like, a regular cappuccino with some sugar on top except I turn the torch on it for a second to make it a little burnt up, a little brulee, as it were.
I’ll get it started for you, then.
Oh wait – you’re that guy. That dragon guy. This dragonccino is on the house, boss.
Oh man, the owners are going to be so mad they missed you. So mad. They are not going to believe me. They are just not…oh, could I take your picture? They’d have to believe me then.
Oh, I won’t blast it. No worries. I’m sure it would give us a boost but –
Oh, sure. Doxxing. Right. Privacy. Well, I promise you I wouldn’t post it. If I did, you have my permission to bring your girlfriend in here to roast me. I mean, bring her in to try our dark roast. Or maybe she’d like a dragonccino. Should I make her one now? On the house, of course.
Ok. Yeah. Sorry for talking your ear off.
Don’t feel like you have to go just because of me. If you want to hang out here, I promise I won’t bug you.
Sure. No. Of course. Oh, before you sit down – how do you like the dragonccino?
I know, right? I keep telling the owners we should do a crème brulee – since we already have the torches.
They’re working on it, they say. I don’t know. Anyway – thanks for stopping in, boss. It’s so great to meet you.
Oh, I’m Zeke. Yeah.
Ok, Brent. Thanks boss.
Enjoy that dragonccino.
*
Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of a café door opening
MISTY
I’m so sorry to bother you. I can see you’re just trying to have a peaceful afternoon coffee but I just have to ask you…do you knit?
Yes, I’m just wondering if you have any skill in the needle arts.
Well, everyone’s a beginner at some point, right?
Well, I ask because I just wanted to confirm that you’re the Brent who taught some fellas to knit at a dragon conference not so long ago.
I’m shocked.
No, no. I understand that you’re very much more famous for your girlfriend but your service to the dragons over there is much more interesting to me.
We’re forming a little knitting society over here and we’d love to learn about your experience with the group there. Can we invite you to a knitting circle?
You haven’t given up knitting have you? That would be very disappointing.
I guess I don’t mind telling you that we’re a rather different knitting society. We are openly a dragon support group and we don’t drug our dragons.
No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disparage your dragon friends over there. I understand they were doing what they thought they had to do with those smoothies – but we don’t drink them here – mostly because we don’t actually know what the secret ingredient is that makes them special. It’s very easy to be righteous about them when we don’t even know how they do it. Do you know how they do it?
Pity. Well – we try to keep a lid on our dragons with whatever we can manage.
Well, I guess – your fear is a pretty good preventative. I’d hope we could keep you safe at a meeting just with that.
Sure, I can see that it might be a big risk for you. I can’t ask you to risk your life just to knit with a bunch of dragons.
Oh, that’d be amazing. Yes, talk with Ashley about it. See what she says. We’d love to have her, too. Does she knit?
Oh, pity. Well – here’s my card.
Yeah, Dragon City Knitting Circle. Not so original but it gets the point across.
We meet on Wednesdays at the Public Library on 7th St. Just in case you want to pop by.
You don’t, like, have to RSVP or whatever. You can just come. We don’t have a barrier or anything. I mean the head librarian can get pretty tough if she needs to but – you know, we are a conference room full of dragons with knitting needles, we don’t need much protecting.
No, no, we’re not crazy. That’s why we’re the “Dragon City Knitting Circle” and not the Dragon City Society of Dragons.
Oh we have! And you don’t have to be a dragon to knit with us. We’ve had several very cute old ladies who were a bit surprised we were more than a knitting circle. To their credit, though, they’ve stuck around and they are very supportive.
Both! They’re incredible mentors when it comes to yarn and they give very good advice. They’re always saying, “I wish there’d been a dragon or two around back when I was working.”
There was one – she really just wanted to talk only about knitting. But the thing of it is, even if we didn’t have dragon things to discuss, no knitting circle is ever JUST about knitting. Wouldn’t you agree?
Oh good point. Well, trust me, most knitting circles talk about everything. And usually they roll around to sex, in my experience. Or maybe it’s me that sends them that way. Who can say?
Oh, there I go again. Misty on her talking tear. Sorry, Brent. All I wanted to do was invite you to our knitting circle. We just – well, we’d love some tips about how to teach men to knit.
we thought we might start to repair some of the gender relations around these parts if we offered something. You know, if we invited men to be a part of our circles rather than just eating and setting them on fire all the time. And we thought, too, if we could teach more men to knit, they might become better men and a lot less likely to be eaten. You know? I mean – you knit and you haven’t been eaten.
Right, right. Correlation is not causation. I know.
Yeah, well, we just want to find a way to dialogue with men, you know? And it’s tricky because they definitely don’t want to join us. Do men not like to debate anymore?
But why don’t they feel welcome, Brent? If they’re scared, we’ll just eat their fear and they’ll be even safer!
I mean – we would be on our best behavior. We would do our level best not to set anyone on fire – or eat them. Isn’t our word good enough?
I’m sorry. I know you don’t speak for all men. The fact that you’re still alive after so much contact with dragons suggests you are a pretty unusual specimen of your gender. Are you one of those men who’s just always gotten along better with women?
I’m always stepping over the line. You can count on me to ask too much!
Oh, really? You were a guy’s guy? Like – huh. Wow. That’s confusing. I find that confusing. I thought it would be the reverse – like you’d be the one guy in the group of women guy. But you’re a guy’s guy, girlfriend guy – not a friend of women guy. Sorry – probably all these categories are meaningless. I’m just making stuff up now. Making wrong-headed assumptions and
Like, did you identity as a feminist?
Sorry, is that too personal?
Yeah, no. That makes sense.
Well – you are a mystery to me, Brent. I hope you will come along with us. I will do my very best not to pester you with questions – unless you like to be pestered with questions, in which case, I will take care of that!
Yeah, yeah. Believe it or not, we can sit quietly in peace sometimes, too.
Sorry, yeah. I’ll leave you to actually enjoy your coffee without my yammering. Wheee! Ok. Well. You have the info. I’m going to get a scone.
Sound of a dragon roar. Sound of a hotel door closing
ASHLEY
Hey you.
Golly. I haven’t seen you in ages it feels like. I missed you all day.
Oh, you know - meetings. I never in my life had so many meetings. Is this what normal people do? Have meetings? Did you have meetings today, too?
Oh, right. Talon TV.
Oh my God. And Kala. How was that?
Sorry for what? Trying to kill me or flirting with you?
Ha! Yeah. Okay. Sure. Sure.
I guess I’m glad that there’s some rehabilitation for someone like her but I don’t want to hang out with her or anything. I mean, really the apology is for her, right?
I guess there are people who would want to hear it. I just don’t care that much about her.
I mean, my dragon memories tend to be pretty cloudy so I have very little sense of her except as an invader in my space, swatting at me. And you.
She didn’t?
Well – I remember being worried for you. And, like, not wanting to go full out because I was worried about your safety. I didn’t want you caught in the crossfire.
Ha, yeah, swordfire.
Or my fire.
Also I really didn’t want to set fire to my place again. She just seemed like a nuisance.
But was it good to go?
Yeah. I guess it’s easy to turn her into an outsize threat. Good to remember she’s just a real estate agent from Montana who happens to have some sword fighting skills. And now we know she won’t use them for ill against other dragons.
Yes, the real threat remains.
Not those particular boys, though, you’re right. Theoretically they are also being rehabilitated. But from what I understand the rehabilitation for guys like that is about a fifty - fifty shot.
But of course there are others. Of course. And now that I’m public dragon number one, I’m a target for all of them. Wheeeee!
And Talon TV? Are they going to make you rich and famous, like all of them?
Ugh. Can’t they see you’re not just a dragon’s boyfriend? You’re a whole person!
What about your travel show?
Oh, they’re holding your travel show hostage! I see. Do their dragon business and then they will give you what you want.
I mean, yeah, it’s a little different for me because whatever I do, it’s a dragon doing it – so it’s dragon themed no matter what. Sit and watch paint dry with Ashley the Dragon!
Yeah, that’s my big pitch. Think it’ll fly?
Well – that’s the thing – Amanda says I can hold out for what I actually want to do – because people will be interested no matter what it is.
They keep telling me it’s going to be expensive for them to make because of the insurance. Like, they’re going to spend most of their budget on insurance – in case I dragon out and set their whole crew on fire. I gotta say, though it doesn’t feel good. They’re planning for destruction they think I’m going to do. And sometimes I think they might try and trigger an attack so they can get some especially viral footage.
Oh you know how they do on those reality shows – they make sure their participants are hungry and testy and then put them in some incredibly trying situation so they can watch sparks fly!
I mean – did you know they have writers on those shows to invent those kinds of awful situations
They do! Yes! Writers come up with story arcs and character challenges and then use their participants like rats in a controlled story experiment. I don’t want that.
I guess I want to dance. I want a dance show. But it’s going to be hard to prod me into dragon destruction if I’m happily pas de bouree-ing up and down a studio.
Yeah but they say the insurance for that would be too expensive.
Oh. Good point. They SHOULD use all woman crews. Why wouldn’t they do that as a matter course?
I guess, right - the crews have always been men before. They’d have to hire all new people
Oh, I’m sure they’d be like, “Oh we don’t have any lady key grips!” But I’m sure there’s someone.
Maybe instead of asking for more money to cover the insurance, I could just ask for women on the crew. That would be amazing.
Oh sure – yeah, what if there are dragons in the crew, then? But – I mean, if we’re all women it’s fine. And I would guess we can pretty safely include any trans or non-binary folks, too. That widens the pool a little bit.
Maybe not enough for the insurance companies. I mean – do they have Dragon specific insurance policies? How quickly do they evolve? Like – are there other city specific insurance policies?
Oh man. I don’t know how I turned into a person who thought about insurance.
True. It does seem to be all the TV people are interested in so…I sort of have to consider it, huh?
Did they talk to you about insurance over at Talon?
They should use that as a selling point. Talon TV. We won’t talk to you about insurance. Maybe I should go over there just to listen to TV people NOT talk about insurance for a while.
Well – right now all doors seem to be open. They just come with a lot of insurance talk.
Well Amanda is flying in tomorrow and we can bore her with insurance talk all night if we want.
No I definitely don’t want to either.
Who knew talking about insurance could make a person so tired?
Oh, right. Jet lag. I forgot about that. What do you think about ordering room service and crashing out early?
Yeah me, too. It’ll be nice. Just you and me, no glass or plexiglass or whatever between us. And no more talk of insurance.
(Dragoning theme credit music begins. Strings. Bells. It’s a little creepy but also fun. Like mischievous creatures sneaking around after midnight.)
EMILY:
The Dragoning is created by Messenger Theatre Company and written by Emily Rainbow Davis
The Dragoning Theme was composed by Scott Ethier
Sound design by Matt Powell
Show art by Shannon Harvey
Produced by Kayshana Johnson
This episode featured Aaron Sinn as Harrison, Jonathan Horne as Zeke, Victoria Williams as Misty and Emily Hartford as Ashley.
Messenger Theatre Company is a not-for-profit organization and we are entirely reliant on your support.
Thank you in advance for making our next project possible.
Stay safe out there everyone. And watch out for dragons.
(Music resolves.)